Let it OUT!

Don't bother me. I've just been born. ~ Mary Oliver, from One or Two Things

Welcome to Ignite Your Voice Coaching!

I've recently had the opportunity to spend some time with a teeny, tiny 3-week-old baby boy. In an effort to give his amazing mom some much needed relief (the poor little guy is just as colicky as he is cute), I've been hanging out with him while she steals a couple of hours away from home to fill herself up again. (For all of you ladies out there who have been there and done this, I bow to you. It takes so much strength and courage to be a mother!) Needless to say, my friend is relieved and appreciative for these moments to herself, and I get to hold, smell, kiss and sing to a tiny baby. It's a pretty sweet deal if you ask me!

Recently, a kind woman addressed me with a very thoughtful question: "Can unexpressed anger turn into anxiety?" My answer to this question is an unequivocal YES. Any unexpressed emotion, for that matter, can turn into anxiety, which leads me to turn my focus back to that little baby and his brave mama. That little guy doesn't have any problem expressing himself! He's got good reason and he is going to let it out!

Lets just take a trip through his baby booties for a moment: Only three weeks ago, he (we'll call him Jeffrey) was nestled away in the calm, controlled environment of his mother's womb, and BAM! All of a sudden, he was thrust into this noisy, smelly environment, and it feels weird and scary when he isn't being held, he isn't being fed automatically, and he keeps getting these darn things called hiccups! Wouldn't you be mad?! All of this new stuff is challenging and he is not afraid to show it.

As we were slow dancing around the room, me whispering sweet nothings into his ear, him screaming for all the world to hear, I thought of his dear mom and the fact that she has been thrust just as deeply into this scary, unknown territory as he has been. (Again, I bow to all the mothers out there!) Along with only the love that mothers can know, she is also having the "What the heck am I doing and how do I get myself out of this?!" thoughts that new mothers can also experience. She just wants to sleep, have a moment of peace, and man, he is making those simple tasks next to impossible. At this point, both mom and baby are feeling frustrated and exhausted.

The difference is that while Jeffrey is wailing away, my poor friend is judging herself as all adults do. She is feeling guilty for every negative thought, and in this case, for every moment that she is not completely in love with this new person in her life. Of course she is. Like any good mother, she wants to be in love with her child all of the time, know how to meet his every need, and have endless patience for his process. Also, like any good mother, that ideal only reflects her experience part of the time.

Jeffrey, on the other hand, is probably wailing away as I write, and I guarantee that he doesn't feel an ounce of guilt about it! He wants to eat! He doesn't like poopy diapers! He doesn't like being alone in his bassinet! He can't stand those darn hiccups! All he knows is his experience in the moment--he doesn't have an ego yet to mislead him into thinking that his feelings are wrong.

Just as I held that baby and whispered to him to "let it all out...," I hugged my friend and whispered the same thing: "It's okay to be mad. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to feel guilty. Just let it out, girl...let it out."

In what ways have you found yourself overwhelmed in the unknown? In what ways have you judged yourself? What is it that you really need in those moments?--To cry? To have a good yell? A hug? To laugh at yourself? Whatever it is that you need, I encourage you to ask for it, and to express it. Let it out! You'll feel so much better. Just ask Jeffrey. :)

If you would like support in igniting your voice, and expressing what you truly feel inside, then I'm your gal! As always, you can contact me for a free sample session in order to explore the many gifts that my coaching has to offer you: igniteyourvoice@gmail.com.

Much Love,

Melissa Simonson
Spiritual Life Coach
http://www.igniteyourvoice.com/